{"id":5109,"date":"2013-05-28T21:37:21","date_gmt":"2013-05-28T21:37:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.relationshipcoachinginstitute.com\/?p=5109"},"modified":"2013-05-28T21:37:21","modified_gmt":"2013-05-28T21:37:21","slug":"perfect","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vhhtesting.com\/xyypro3\/perfect\/","title":{"rendered":"Do You Need to Be Perfect to Be a Coach?"},"content":{"rendered":"

One of the most common questions we get from aspiring relationship coaches is a variation of:<\/h2>\n

“How can I coach singles if I’ve been married for 20 years?”<\/p>\n

“How can I coach singles if I’m single myself and haven’t found my soulmate?”<\/p>\n

“How can I coach couples if I’m divorced?”<\/p>\n

“How can I coach couples if my own marriage isn’t going great?”<\/p>\n

“How can I coach couples if I’m single?”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Well, if singles can’t coach singles or couples, and couples can’t coach singles or couples, then almost NOBODY is qualified to be a relationship coach! It’s good to be humble, but there’s no need to feel inadequate if you’re called to become a relationship coach.<\/p>\n

Top Ten Reasons You Don’t Need to Be Perfect to Be a Coach<\/h3>\n
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  1. You WILL be different from your clients and that is a good thing.<\/strong> You are better able to help your client see different sides of their situation and discover creative choices.<\/li>\n
  2. You need to be an expert in coaching the process of change<\/strong>, not in the technical details of the client’s situation. You are coaching people, not situations. Your job is to support their progress, not give them advice.<\/li>\n
  3. You don’t need to be perfect but you do need to walk your talk.<\/strong> Your past failures and struggles make you a better coach. You don’t need to have “arrived” but you need to be an example of courageously embracing the journey.<\/li>\n
  4. If you’re currently struggling and stuck in a particular area, it’s probably best to help yourself<\/strong> before helping someone else in that area. It’s hard to be the strong, confident, capable coach that your client needs if you’re in pain.<\/li>\n
  5. Your client needs your positive energy, your passion, your inspiration,<\/strong> and your compassion that comes from your own struggles and journey more than they need you to be perfect.<\/li>\n
  6. Feeling insecure and inadequate when you’re starting out is understandable<\/strong> and even desirable. Genuine confidence and competence come with experience and practice.<\/li>\n
  7. Coaching is a partnership, a shared journey<\/strong> driven by the client’s needs and agenda. Being a good, supportive partner is more important than being perfect.<\/li>\n
  8. What matters is your connection with your client<\/strong> and your ability to apply your coaching skills to support their progress, not your specific, personal situation.<\/li>\n
  9. If you were perfect you would make your client feel intimidated<\/strong> and inadequate, so it’s better to be real, human, and flawed.<\/li>\n
  10. It’s not about you! It’s about your mission, purpose, and the people you’re called to help.<\/strong> If you’re truly acting in service of your client you will be successful. If you’re coming from ego and your own reality, situation, beliefs, accomplishments, you won’t be successful.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Feedback From Experienced Coaches<\/h2>\n

    We posed this question to numerous groups of coaches and other helping professionals on LinkedIn <\/a><\/span>and received over 100 responses.<\/p>\n

    Here are some excerpts:<\/h3>\n